Communication
"I’m sorry honey, but we’ve had a 10-68 so I won’t even RTO until at least 2100 hours..."
Effective communication is vital to any relationship, but when you add the complexities of police scheduling, long hours, being on-call, on the job trauma, the effects of having a ‘command and control’ attitude, and the whole vernacular of the police subculture, communication within a police marriage can be a challenge. The FamilyLife Canada website has excellent articles on communication in a relationship so please see those articles for some great tips.
Cynicism: Is There Any Good Left in the World?
In the movie “The Untouchables” there is a scene where Kevin Costner’s character Elliot Ness (a treasury officer trying to bring down Chicago crime lord Al Capone) is dealing with the aftermath of a brutal attack by Capone’s men in which Ness finds the bodies of one of his own men and their star witness. He later gets a phone call from his wife. She is checking to see that he’s okay. He asks what she is doing and she tells him that she is looking at colour swatches to decide what colour to paint the kitchen. After hanging up the phone he says to his remaining men, “Some part of the world still cares what colour the kitchen is.” The viewer, of course, gets an immediate sense of the vast distance between his two worlds.
Emergency
A career as a police officer creates unique challenges and stresses for police families. Shift work, the danger of the job and the roller coaster effects of hyper-vigilance puts a significant stain on marriage and family relationships.
Many of Canada’s police officers are in a crisis situation - not on the streets, but in their homes.
A high percentage of police marriages end in divorce - one of the highest rates of any profession. The suicide rate for police officers is six times that of the general population. Some studies have shown that as many as two-thirds of police officers struggle with alcoholism.
As one officer has said, “The true weight of the badge is not overcome by muscle, not found in the gym, not measured on a scale. This weight requires a strength and conditioning for which few officers are trained. The badge is not just pinned on a chest; it is pinned on a lifestyle.”
Members of the Force are sworn to Serve and protect the public, and they do so with great honor. Now it’s our turn. The Police Marriage Support Team at Support the Badge exists to help our officers serve and protect those who matter most to them: their family.
Married to a Cop
You know you're married to a cop if...
You no longer drive a car; you operate a vehicle.
You are not going home; you’re going to your residence.
One More For Luck
He gets out of bed
And starts to prepare
He dresses-his uniform dark blue
The badge, the cuffs, the gun
And crosses some line